Gay wedding etiquette

New traditions and etiquette for gay weddings is in the process of being created, it is now your chance to shape future gay wedding practice in the UK with your wedding planner.
Who pays for the wedding?
Traditionally, the bride’s family pays for the wedding and the groom’s family pays for the honeymoon, but today many heterosexual couples pay for their own weddings with help from family members. The same can be said for gay weddings, as many gay couples now like to pay for their own weddings and honeymoon with parents and relatives contributing if they want to.
Who will walk down the aisle?
One of the traditional wedding customs is the walk down the aisle. Usually the groom goes first, followed by the bride with her father, but there are alternatives with same sex couples. One person can still wait by the altar while the other walks down the aisle or both can walk down the aisle together, arm in arm, or each can walk down the aisle alone or accompanied by a family member. The choice is yours.
What about the wedding vows?
Gay couples may prefer to write their own vows but these should be an expression of the celebration and commitment to each other, as with any other wedding, and not a political statement. When the person officiating over the wedding is about to make the pronouncement, the wording can get tricky. One option can be “partners for life” rather than “bride and groom”.
Will you have a best man and maid of honour or best friends?
With regard to the wedding party the choice is yours. A wedding party can be family and friends; two women can have two best men or two maids of honour. There is always the option of not having any attendants at all.
These are some of the other exciting questions that you need to work through with your partner and wedding planner:
- What finger will you wear your wedding ring on?
- Who will give the speeches?
- What will happen to your surnames?
- Is it OK for guests to wear white if there are no brides?
It’s an exciting time and your opportunity to write the gay wedding etiquette book with your wedding planner. Book your free wedding consultation now.
This is a very informative article.
We’re planning a small civil ceremony in another state. How can we make our wedding feel like the “real” thing for both us and our guests, even if we’re already married?
and..
When it comes to who pays for what?
Today, many couples pay for their own celebrations with some help from their folks. In the traditional bride-groom arrangement there are some long-standing bill-splitting guidelines, but even these are just a starting point, altered by most. What would be the best approach?
The best way to deal with the bottom line is to first figure out who is contributing to your cash flow. Are you two footing the entire bill yourselves? How much are parents or relatives willing to contribute? Once you calculate how much money you have to play with, it will all come down to how to spend it. (The fun part!) Discuss the elements that are most important to you both (An 8-piece Latin band? Two designer wedding gowns?) and map out the rest of the budget around those big items.
Excellent point on writing down the vows since it really gets tricky with the wording. 🙂
My fiance and I are having a same-sex ceremony and are having trouble deciding on processional order since there’s no bride. Thoughts?
In an opposite-sex proposal, generally, the man proposes to the woman with an engagement ring. How does it work in same-sex relationships?
Same-sex weddings come with some unique situations. Who gives away the bride when there is none? Who gives away the bride when there are two? 🙂
My husband and I are thrilled that our son, who is in his late 20s, will be marrying his boyfriend in California this spring. I was not so happy, however, when he told me he’ll be dropping our last name and taking his fiancé’s. (and we’d hoped to have grandchildren that carry on our family name).
I would like to ask. What does it mean, when a gay sun takes his husbnad surname?
I suggest you and your son might do best by talking with each other. And what better place to start than by raising with him your reasons in having joined the “hyphenated” club of married boomers and then seeing where that open door takes you in more fully understanding his decision.